Shradhanjali on death of a father
A man is made is of many people. Physically mentally and emotionally. He matures in these things during his growing up period during his adolescent and early twenties. And certainly people mature and get to know what they want to do the rest of their lives, lives in which they decide how they want to live, rather than being told how. And the future one decides depends upon a lot on the thoughts and value system you develop during this time.
For me that period happened during my Goa stay. Those 5 years or mainly the first 3 years of independence and away from home certainly defined me what I am today. Be the Atheist or Rational I am. And much of these came with the close interaction and friendship I had with my mentor and more importantly my friend Bikram Dasgupta Sir.
I still remember my early days. It was the first time I was away from home. After the initial fun of freedom had passed away the though of home longing started piercing my heart. Especially being an Indian son my thoughts wandered did I do the right thing of leaving my parents who were goring old so far away. What was the "Muqaddar" I was going after. And more importantly who am I. I were the days of self discovery. It was physically as well as mentally. And especially with the the big shock I received in Goa I had a big challenge to live upto. And looking back on it, it was certainly one of the biggest challenge that I took up and the outcome of it certainly has decided of what I am so far now.
During these tumultuous days I meet Bikram Dasgupt Sir. Not sure when but do remember how. It was Amey Sarkar. A true romantic at heart who took me to Bikram Dasgupta Sir on a monsoon filled day in 1997. I still do not remember anything more so it certainly was not that life changing. And certainly as most things in life the exterior of him was not something that anyone will love. His house was in a mess. The mess unlike others was not made of too consumerist stuff. But was made of only one procession he had. Books. There were so many of them. It seemed he had a University Library of them. That was the biggest Allure I had to visit him. I still remember picking up books which later will become my staple and books I wanted to read for so long and I saw them in one the book stacks he had.
So many times I remember of cleaning his house and tying to make it more livable. Be it trying to put his clothes in correct place or trying to keep books in order so that he could find it. But I think he liked the chaos. Maybe the chaos outside was just a reflection of his inner struggles.
But most importantly what I learned from him was the vlaues system that I call myslef. And without any falsihood I certainly can contribute many of them if not most of them to him. The biggest certainly was purpose of your life. I still remember during those days I was conflicted of my responsibility of a son. How would I take care of my parents especially with such big distance. Teh responsibilty coming from how they took care of me when I needed support and very soon they will. But seeing teh career path which to may degree came out true I did not know for how long I coudl stay with them in Calcutta. HTough that answer will always daunt me but in his one sentnce it captured that repsponsibilty in a larger context which so far I was missing. One of those empty days of long talks he mentioned how he felt about it, especailly as he was also very clsoe his mother. "Why are only thinking about your own mother, there are thousands of other mother and fathers that need your support". In it captured not only the answer but his ideals and a dream and a raod that he traveresed.
A life in which ones own interest should be taken cared of but one can not abstain or get out of the larger ratinality of our existance as a socail being.
My best compliment when i last saw him was "when I meet you first you had lot to learn and now see after 10 years I have to learn from you." THough I knew he stil knew much more than I, he was a true insiprer seeing some of his hard work getting fruits.
The best way of shradanjali for him certianly would be live and spend some portions of our lives as he did.
"Why are only thinking about your own mother, there are thousands of other mother and fathers that need your support".
The other is how less time we have to live a life that brings us happiness and not money. It seems only a few days ago I used to talk to him about all what I though and wanted to do and yet it had been over 13 years that I am a bystander on this rat race. Time is little and that day when my euolgy will be written is also coming fast. As Stephen Covety said, how would I like to be remembered. A person who only accumulated money and lived for his selfish goals. Or a person who saw the bigger channlnges that faces humanity and will try to address it with whatever means wh was able to resolve.
For me that period happened during my Goa stay. Those 5 years or mainly the first 3 years of independence and away from home certainly defined me what I am today. Be the Atheist or Rational I am. And much of these came with the close interaction and friendship I had with my mentor and more importantly my friend Bikram Dasgupta Sir.
I still remember my early days. It was the first time I was away from home. After the initial fun of freedom had passed away the though of home longing started piercing my heart. Especially being an Indian son my thoughts wandered did I do the right thing of leaving my parents who were goring old so far away. What was the "Muqaddar" I was going after. And more importantly who am I. I were the days of self discovery. It was physically as well as mentally. And especially with the the big shock I received in Goa I had a big challenge to live upto. And looking back on it, it was certainly one of the biggest challenge that I took up and the outcome of it certainly has decided of what I am so far now.
During these tumultuous days I meet Bikram Dasgupt Sir. Not sure when but do remember how. It was Amey Sarkar. A true romantic at heart who took me to Bikram Dasgupta Sir on a monsoon filled day in 1997. I still do not remember anything more so it certainly was not that life changing. And certainly as most things in life the exterior of him was not something that anyone will love. His house was in a mess. The mess unlike others was not made of too consumerist stuff. But was made of only one procession he had. Books. There were so many of them. It seemed he had a University Library of them. That was the biggest Allure I had to visit him. I still remember picking up books which later will become my staple and books I wanted to read for so long and I saw them in one the book stacks he had.
So many times I remember of cleaning his house and tying to make it more livable. Be it trying to put his clothes in correct place or trying to keep books in order so that he could find it. But I think he liked the chaos. Maybe the chaos outside was just a reflection of his inner struggles.
But most importantly what I learned from him was the vlaues system that I call myslef. And without any falsihood I certainly can contribute many of them if not most of them to him. The biggest certainly was purpose of your life. I still remember during those days I was conflicted of my responsibility of a son. How would I take care of my parents especially with such big distance. Teh responsibilty coming from how they took care of me when I needed support and very soon they will. But seeing teh career path which to may degree came out true I did not know for how long I coudl stay with them in Calcutta. HTough that answer will always daunt me but in his one sentnce it captured that repsponsibilty in a larger context which so far I was missing. One of those empty days of long talks he mentioned how he felt about it, especailly as he was also very clsoe his mother. "Why are only thinking about your own mother, there are thousands of other mother and fathers that need your support". In it captured not only the answer but his ideals and a dream and a raod that he traveresed.
A life in which ones own interest should be taken cared of but one can not abstain or get out of the larger ratinality of our existance as a socail being.
My best compliment when i last saw him was "when I meet you first you had lot to learn and now see after 10 years I have to learn from you." THough I knew he stil knew much more than I, he was a true insiprer seeing some of his hard work getting fruits.
The best way of shradanjali for him certianly would be live and spend some portions of our lives as he did.
"Why are only thinking about your own mother, there are thousands of other mother and fathers that need your support".
The other is how less time we have to live a life that brings us happiness and not money. It seems only a few days ago I used to talk to him about all what I though and wanted to do and yet it had been over 13 years that I am a bystander on this rat race. Time is little and that day when my euolgy will be written is also coming fast. As Stephen Covety said, how would I like to be remembered. A person who only accumulated money and lived for his selfish goals. Or a person who saw the bigger channlnges that faces humanity and will try to address it with whatever means wh was able to resolve.
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9:17 AM
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