So much Water has flown

So much water has flown

Last two days are days of memories and with "Only Time" whispering in my ears, old days seem to cast their myriad colors. And it all seems like I lived so many lives. The days of Calcutta, the simple and dutiful Sonu, the growing days of Goa of discovering Shukla, the days of Syracuse's Shan and finally the vagabond life Shantanu, crisscrossing the vast land of US meeting and loosing people as I went along. Intersperced with the fire and water of Manipur or sanctity of UP trips.

And it seems so many days have rolled, yet it is me who has seen them all, the Durga puja on Ambassador, traveling on that rocketry cycle through Haridevpur or the loneliness of Rai Bahadur when it seemed there is nothing more for me. The opening of shop's shutters, the setting up of father's business, the party at Jhumur's place. The shock of class seven and living the hideous days next year. A year when nothing seemed impossible. The days, when I suddenly discovered myself and the relationship that I could never frame.

The Manipur days, the exotic land which you could see but no touch. Of being woken to be directed to leave the place forever instead of attending classes as usual. The famous escape from the land of fire and water.

The bus trip to Goa through the sleepless night to come to my home for next half a decade. To be greeted by a jolt. To to be reminded that even being first among many students still does not guarantee a seat. The phone calls through the darkness and rain of Taleigao Plateau. The growing upto be a person who I am today. Bikram Sir, Rahul and trips of mind across Goa. When learned to challenge the status quo. The disorientation that lead to search for greener pastures.

Seeing and staying in HOME for last time, and yet not knowing about it. The rejection by me and visa. And then getting the stamp to fly to country which will keep ensnarled for God knows how many years.

The Syracuse early days. The days of disillusement, where idealism meet the reality to shatter the dream kept so long. Where Maslov's physiological needs gripped me like never before. When dollars was the ultimate reason to perspire. Of endless wandering in Physics dept. Where bed was a place to sleep, live and escape from hardness of coldness around me.

The turnaround ff the spring with Emera. When I found something that I did not knew existed. When the world sprouted with happiness like never before. The trips and eagerness to come home. The coziness and understanding. The fun and pain of moving and reuniting again.

The Birmingham days of vacant wait of laziness of little dreams. Of extreme procrastination interspersed with news from faraway land. Of a trip and selection that would later forever change my life.

The upliftment of Richmond, when everything was exciting, when meeting people traveling and discovery was so much of life that realities of life disappered. The spring again of uniting and soaring. Of friends and company. Broken only with a movement that would change so many things in my life. The mirage of better life. the anxiety of trouble being douched with a greater hope of reuniting with near and dear ones.

The biggest learning days of my life. Where I found independence, lost my mind, lost my family and at end found hope. The autumn follwoed by the winter that changed me like never before. When emotion bowelled to such degree that even with all my past smothering I lost my way.

And it all happened in such a relative small lifespan that I can count myself lucky as well unlucky. And all this has left me with only memories to share.

And so much water that has actually flown through the life.